An Intimate look at Wrestling by Coach Michael Blanchard

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Mar
19

Acclaimed author John Irving was quoted as saying, “If you presume to love something, you must love the process of it much more than you love the finished product.”

Irving is an author by trade and a wrestler at heart. He often compares the two as similar processes. To be able to put something into writing and share it with an audience is very much like the vulnerability you may feel as a wrestler, alone on the mat with no one to help you. A piece of you is out there on display for all to see. All your strengths and weaknesses are exposed and ultimately you have yourself to hold accountable for what happens.

Irving has written thirteen novels over the course of his prolific career, nine of which have been international bestsellers. The World According to Garp, which won the National Book Award in 1980, was John Irving’s fourth novel and his first international bestseller. In 2000, John Irving won the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay for The Cider House Rules, Lasse Hallström’s film adaptation of Irving’s sixth novel. A competitive wrestler for twenty years, until he was thirty-four, and a coach of the sport until he was forty-seven, John Irving was inducted into the National Wrestling Hall of Fame in Stillwater, Oklahoma in 1992. The discipline he derived from the sport is the same discipline he uses when crafting one of his novels. He says you have to be able to do something over and over when you write and make it look fluid and natural – much like wrestling. He was featured during the Division 1 National Finals expressing his sentiments about the sport that tortured him and rewarded him throughout his life.

Much like John Irving two of my passions in life are wrestling and writing. I have often connected strongly to what he described as processes that overlap. It was with those thoughts that I found time each season to express my love/hate relationship with what I have discovered to be the most difficult sport in which a young person can partake.

My wrestling career took hold of me when I was 13 years old. Many of my friends at the time had 6 or 7 years experience on me when I took up the sport that forever changed my life. Probably the best way to pull a kid into the sport is through the camaraderie of friends being involved. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but within a few short weeks I was hooked. I guess you could say I was attracted to the physicality of it. Maybe I had been searching for something that would offer me a challenge, but in eighth grade I think I was probably looking for a release of some pre-teenage angst, struggling with lower self esteem, and a strong desire to fit in. Besides, basketball was looking like less of an option for someone of my vertical limitations. Whatever the cause I know the outcome has been favorable these past 24 years. I still continue to believe it was the third best decision of my life – with the marriage to my wife of 12 years and our three boys being the only two higher-ranking best decisions I have made.

The brutality of wrestling combined with the intelligence of thinking and reacting for 6 or more minutes was what attracted me to the sport. The year before I joined, I played street hockey and spent most of my time in the penalty box. Wrestling offered me a chance to get my aggression out without getting into trouble. It was controlled violence and ferocity mixed with compassion and heart. There was a feeling of pain combined with the addictive feeling of victory. I chased that sensation for 10 years as a wrestler and continued to seek it as a coach. It wasn’t all about winning, but if you aren’t working toward that triumphant feeling (even if it only lasts a few moments), then what is the point, right? The truth is that that consciousness is what we are all searching for. We all crave a moment to feel like a champion. We all want to become the master of our craft, and be someone who is captain of his own ship.

Perhaps it was the adversities of my career as a wrestler that made me the man I am today. I know it was those trouble spots that gave my life direction and purpose, but also gave me hope, too. I suffered physically and mentally throughout my wrestling career. Broken ribs, dislocated collarbone, jammed fingers, black eyes, hyper extended elbows, torn ACL, and bruised ego more than once or twice. Then there were the skin diseases. There was ringworm, impetigo, and mat burn that left scars. Sounds enjoyable, right? All this and I kept coming back for more. I don’t consider myself a stupid person, but maybe a person with more sense would have walked in the opposite direction.

Yet, I did not. I raced closer to the sport that gave me nothing but grief after four years of high school. I headed to college and continued to try and make myself proud to be me. I won more than I lost, but I suffered tremendously as I struggled to find out what I was made of. I cut too much weight and continued to live more fully when the season was over. I resorted to making deals with myself. I’d read a chapter in my English books and then go for a run. I’d work out two to three times a day. Usually two workouts were with the team and one more was on my own. My thinking was that I would get out what I put in, but I was wrong. I got even more.

By my senior year of college I was voted captain of the squad and I was getting regular time despite having a returning All-American in my weight class wrestling ahead of me. I was proud of the honor because my teammates had voted me into this position, but in my mind I was always fighting a doubt I had in myself. That doubt was eating away at me. Perhaps that doubt is the same one that creeps into all of us, at times. Are we doing everything we can to be successful?

Success means different things to different people. To me, success does not always equate with winning. Many of the most successful people I know or have read about were losers first. In fact, many used the awful feeling of loss to understand how important and how good winning is. Think about it. You don’t usually find people to be too driven when everything goes their way all the time. Failure breeds success. Failures teach us that we need to hold success in high esteem. Failure paves the way for success if you have the right attitude and a clear vision of where you are going. Wrestling has taught me that.

Having been a spectator/coach for more time than I was an actual competitor, I have gained that perspective. I used my adversities more than I have ever used my triumphs to teach my wrestlers and my students. I have even used these tales to teach my own sons as they begin their journeys into the ever-expanding thing called life.

I once heard someone say that you cannot truly live a full life until you face adversity. All too often we want to protect our children and shelter them from failure, from hardship, and from controversy. But maybe it is those things that are our greatest teachers. I never learned much from a win. I usually didn’t overanalyze those moments when things went well for me. Maybe I took it for granted, or maybe I was too elated to give it further thought. Either way, I remained more critical of my choices when I lost. I would let those times eat away at me, but also inspire me to work harder, to push myself further, and to set my goals just a little bit higher. Losing is good for a young person and even those of us that are bit older. Part of life is being able to deal with loss.

Being a wrestler takes a conscious choice to steer your course towards hardship, adversity, and struggles. It also takes guts. It takes humility. It takes honesty – with oneself and others. It takes courage. It takes hard work. It takes discipline. Most of all it takes sacrifice. A wrestler is not always born of talent, but a wrestler can be made through work ethic. Some of the least talented wrestlers I’ve known were the guys who achieved the most success in the sport. They also were the hardest workers and willing to risk failing in order to succeed. They had no fear and lots of resilience on their side. Remarkably these are all learned behaviors and skills. They can be taught and often are in wrestling rooms all over the country.

It is for that reason that the sport often attracts kids at risk, kids with physical and mental disabilities, kids that have anger issues, kids that have issues with self esteem, and kids that are searching for a purpose in life – something to bring meaning to their day.

John Irving was right to connect the two W’s of his life. Wrestling and writing go hand in hand. The skills derived from one can be used to enhance the other. It takes patience and perseverance to craft a story. It takes being able to do something over and over until it feels instinctual and fluid. It takes being able to deal with failure and loss, hardship and pain, adversity and resistance, to be able to overcome the voice of doubt that we all hear from time to time.

Most of all it takes recognizing that no one does anything on their own in this life. Even though there is a very strong element of our sport that is highly individual, no one does it all alone. You have your drill partners, your coaches, your parents, and lots of other people working to support you as you fight and scramble to get your hand raised. And even if you don’t get your hand raised at the end of that grueling, tortuous six minutes you are a winner for going out there and putting it all on the line. The vulnerability of a wrestler is matched by his toughness and willingness to go out there time and time again. That’s what makes a wrestler successful – much like it makes a writer successful. Try doing the same thing in a different way year in and year out, and you will know exactly what I mean.

Irving states that you have to write your own ending. The same could be said for a wrestler and his career. Hopefully that ending is one you can live with. If it’s not, then it’s time for a rewrite.

Written by: Michael Blanchard
April 1, 2015